Today I got the call...turns out it's cancer...AGAIN. I hate how it always catches me off guard. Tonight my mom and I went to pick up the boys from daycare. On the way home, we took the road with the "big hill." Arms up in the air, squealing with delight. Looking back at my precious boys, giggling as they tried to keep their hands up while their tummies were tickled by gravity. It was such a sweet moment. We turned onto another road and then my phone rang. It was the surgeon...calling me...after business hours. In the medical field, the saying is, "No news is good news." I was taken back. I knew what it probably meant, but the biopsies came back cancer free and he didn't say anything after surgery. Why was he calling me...confusion laced with denial...I knew.
Yeah, I have beaten cancer several times before. At this point I'm collecting cancer diagnosis like some girls collect Girl Scout badges. I really need to get a new hobby. ;) I know I will probably be just fine after this battle, but what I'm afraid to think, what I'm afraid to admit is that my body grows tired and weaker with every bout. How many more times do I have in me? I joke that I'm OK because I get nine lives and I haven't used them all yet, but we are over half way there.
However, I must say, that I'm thankful that each time I have gotten the diagnosis, it has been when I was enjoying life. It has always been after I have dusted myself off from some fall caused by the force of life. BUT, I've always gotten up. And good for me for living and loving life when I have those moments that catch me off guard. I have three amazing boys. They are my treasures in this life. They make the stars shine brighter, point out life's rainbows and dance with me in the rain. My life is sweeter because they are in it. And I'm thankful that when I catch a curve ball in this game called life, I'm found enjoying life.
I have a beautiful life. Today's news sucked. I do not look forward to another surgery, but thank God for a new day, for my beautiful children that brighten my day like the sun, for wonderful family and friends and for all the little things that bless my life each day.
