A few years ago my world was turned upside down by the sins of another...my husband. He chose to lie, cheat and steal, all so he could chase that next high. He lost himself and his way and found himself with different women and situations than he ever imagined he could. When he was arrested, a part of me was relieved because at least I would know where he was and that he was safe. However, when I heard the roll call of his sins and received the news of the sentencing, my heart was shattered.
As time went on I found myself crushed under the consequences of his sin. I wasn't using drugs or stealing, I wasn't cheating and lying, yet his choices had left me and my children homeless. His decisions left our children fatherless. His choices left me without my husband and helpmate while I discovered that we have a high needs child and my oldest child rebelled with the news. My world fell apart and all as a result of sins I did not commit.
There was a day (more than one, but on this particular day) that I was complaining to God about the weight of the consequences of "his" sin...sin I didn't commit. And then it hit me...
Jesus really has walked in my shoes. Only instead of carrying the weight of just one person's sin, He carried it all. Here I was buckeling under the pressure of a few consequences of sin and complainng to the One who felt the pressure of EVERY sin. I love how God can gently tell me to get over myself and lovingly put me in check. He's patient with me and for that I am thankful.
Tonight I heard the song, "He Knows" by Jeremy Camp for the first time. There is a line in the song that says, "and all the weight that brings you to your knees...He knows, He knows..." As soon as I heard those words I instantly was reminded of this lesson and was given an image of my cross dropping me to my knees...and He knows...He knows the weight of someone else's sin. He knows what it feels like to love the person whose sin is crushing you. He knows what forgiveness is and how to bestow it. But I know that the consequences of my sin crushed Him. I know that I broke His heart. And I know that He loves me still. I know I am loved and I am blessed by my Savior. I know...I know...
