Prayer for the Prodigal

In Luke 15:11-32 Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. The prodigal left what he had for a moment of pleasure and it cost him everything...yet, when he was completely broken and at the end of himself, he returned to his father's house and his father welcomed him back with open arms...and the life that he once had was returned to him. And I bet it held a much greater value.

Like I've said before, I am separated from my husband, and praying God will work on his wayward heart. Today is Father's Day. Did he see his boys? No. He was chasing after that momentary pleasure that is now costing him far more than he wanted to pay. He sent me a text tonight that said, "I know that there is nothing I can say or do. I have abandoned you and I am lost. I don't want to be sick anymore. For so many reasons. I want you back. Please stop hating me. This is not me. I don't know where I have gone. Pray me back, it has to work because you're my wife. God is keeping you."

I share that text for two reasons, or rather, two reminders:

(1) No matter how lost the prodigal in your life is, no matter how far gone they may seem or how much pain they may have caused you, there is a part of them that hates where they have ended up.

(2) They have lost their way and need our prayers to find their way home.

You never truly know the heart of a prodigal, but you do know the heart of your God. He is faithful and will complete the work He has begun. Yes, my husband has hurt my children and I deeply. Yes, by the world's standard's we have every right to hate him. But by God's standard's, I have every reason to forgive him. My husband knows that if I am angry I will be unable to pray for him, thus the reason for his plea to stop hating him. Do I hate him? No. But I hate what he is choosing and I hate the cost. He has chosen death instead of life and now he is lost and cannot find his way home.

I watched a video once. I wish I could recall the title. But there is one line that haunts me still. A mother's son had been murdered. She went to the murderer's sentencing and prayed regarding the man that had murdered her child, "God you have forgiven so much, help me to forgive so little." That prayer was made from a tear stained face and a broken heart. And her prayer has become mine. The Lord forgave ALL. Who am I to hold a grudge against one, when I am a sinner too and just as guilty of the nails in His hands.

Lord, forgive me for my unforgiveness toward your prodigal son. Soften the soil of my heart and plant the fruit of forgiveness, patience and longsuffering. Help to honor my husband and his request to pray him back to You. And thank you that no matter how lost he is, he still knows that You hold us in Your hands. Amen

The Stench

My husband has recently found a new place to live...a place where people allow him to walk in his sin and don't call him to rise out of the bondage. But prior to him finding this new place, he spent a season homeless. Some may disagree with letting your spouse go without a home when it is in your power to change the situation, but when their sinful lifestyle could potentially harm your children, then separation is a must. He has chosen drugs over his family once again. Even when it meant he had to sleep outside in the cold.

He sobered up one day, a while back, and wanted to come visit the kids. I had no idea what was headed my way. Sober, yes, but I knew it was only until he left. But the stench. I couldn't handle it. The smell that was upon him was overpowering and invaded my small home like the US military during battle. I made him take a shower, but his "clean" clothes had the same stench. I couldn't handle it and the visit was cut short. It took quite some time to get that smell out of the house, but it burned a lasting memory.

While my husband was over that day the Lord gave me a very clear and vivid picture of what our sin is like to Him. Oh how my heart aches that drugs are more important to my husband than our children or our relationship. We have been abandoned for a temporary high. A high that is taking him low. And each day that passes breaks my heart all the more. Yet that visit got me thinking...'this must be how the Lord feels when I choose my sin over Him.' The hurt is deep and I am so grieved over my husband's choice, just as the Lord must be when I choose sin over Him, my Beloved. And the stench...what does the stench of my sin smell like to Him? My husband's stench reminded me he was choosing a sinful lifestyle over the one we had committed to living. His stench reminded me of the rejection and reminded me that we were left alone because of his need for a high and I was FURIOUS. I hated that he stunk; it was a physical reminder of what he was choosing.

The Lord wants my heart, completely, and a relationship with me, yet how many times do I put something else before Him. The answer...WAY to often. I have put my job, children, house, house work, friends, sleep and even TV before Him. The items on my list aren't bad...until they are put before the Lord. How many times have I broken His heart by rejecting Him for something else? How many times have I come into His house with the stench of sin?