Valley of trouble

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope; She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt" - Hosea 2:14-15

Lately I have heard several people say, "This trial/these trials are going to kill me." And I've even said so myself. Then I got to thinking...I have been fighting hardships and trials that seem to constantly seek to destroy me. If God is allowing them, then I pondered why that might be. What I concluded was that if God is allowing hardships to roll constantly my way and rest is to far off to grasp, then perhaps God is allowing these trials to "kill me" so to speak. Dying to ones self is never an easy thing to do and when God calls for COMPLETE submission, it is in a humbled, reverent state that we find Him, waiting for us.

Trials have come calling like the howling wind before the tornadoes hit. Ear piercing. Nerve shattering. Rocks you to your core. Yet, notice that the Lord, "[brought Gomer] into the wilderness." The Lord goes before us. He is our vanguard. And everything He walks us through is for a purpose. Often it is for our growth. And sometimes it is so He can "speak comfort" to us. How often does it take the noise and pain of the trials to quiet me to listen to His voice, follow His leading and hear His Words of encouragement. Often, like the nightingale, my voice rises in song, during the night hours. To know hardship and the pain of unrelenting suffering, is also to know the gentleness and sweetness of our Comforter.

 Gomer was led to the Valley of Achor. The word Achor means "trouble, disturbance." The name Gomer means "complete." The Lord allowed Gomer to walk through the Valley of Troubles so that she could find the door of hope. And once she found Him, her Door of Hope, she was finally made complete. When she chased her lovers, those things the world has to offer, she had complete sorrow. Yet when she returned to her Husband, she had complete Hope.

Like Gomer, I find myself running from my Beloved, giving up the eternal for the temporal, the everlasting for the immediate, the Holy for the chains. Yet how my heart aches to be complete in Him. How I long to sit at the Lords feet and remain there, unwavering. Though I strive to do so, I often find myself crawling back to Him, filthy, broken and beaten by this world. Yet He is ever faithful to give "beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;"time and time again.

Last month I journaled this:

Last night Brad was praying for healing for our family. I admit, my heart was not in the prayer as I was super tired, but our faithful God met me where I was at. For after Brad prayed for healing for our family, I silently thought, "I just want to go to bed. Hmmm. Healing occurs when? At night...when you're sleeping." I am currently in the darkness of night, but God is using it to heal. In the darkness of the trial, healing is occurring. It's in the darkness of the night that God is teaching my husband to step out of the chains that have already been loosened. It is in the darkness of the trial that God is giving me new strength from a new, deeper relationship and dependency on Him. Yes it is dark, and because of the darkness of the Valley of Troubles, there is much I can not see. But I am learning to  Lean on Jesus  in a way only this season of troubles and darkness could bring. And getting to know Christ more is worth any cost.

Perhaps the reason this season of trials feel like they are going to "kill me" is because they are supposed to...they are meant to cause me to die to self and live for Christ...COMPLETELY.  And perhaps when these trials are trying to take me under, I need only bow down at His feet and wait for Him to raise me up. "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials", James 1:2 because "Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy." Psalm 126: 5 and where is Joy found? In His presence.

Lord help me to die to self so that I might live for You...COMPLETELY. And may I once again find the fullness of joy that comes from being in Your presence. Only this time, may I never leave.